Hey stunod it's me ! That's right it's Uncle Louie here, so listen up! Put down the cannoli or whatever you're eating, 'cause what I'm about to say is important.
The movie is done and now it's gonna show in Buffalo. That's right Buffalo- my old stompin' grounds. The last time I came back from the beyond my friggen nephew Benny was livin' in California and it's a beautiful place, don't get me wrong, but I'm longing for my old home town. Yeah, I spent some time in Jersey too, but there's nothin' like the place you were born and raised. You know what? I can't wait. I get to eat a lot of great food, especially a real East Coast Pizza; not that West Coast pineapple and ham stuff. What was that? A friggen fruit salad? I can also visit some broads, and see my old pals. They're gonna crap a braciole when they see me back !
You know what though? I want you with me. Yeah you! Pay attention now, 'cause you're startin' to aggravate me! Yep, you gotta get to Buffalo. Take a plane, a train, or hitch a ride with my Cousin Vinny (not the guy in that movie you mortadella head!), but just get there. Tell your friends, your relatives, call anyone and bring 'em all! I'll be alive for at least five days this time, eating, smoking my cigars, and getting upset at who knows what, and who would want to miss it. Don't let me down. Actually don't let yourself down, because I gotta lot to say about what comes after you leave this life. You'll see what I mean when you get there, but a little heads up would be nice, wouldn't it? That's why you gotta see my movie.
This is your Uncle Louie, speaking from the beyond and waiting to come back on April 14th in Buffalo. I love you guys. I even liked that little piss-ant of a dog, Papa Doc or Castro, or whatever his stinkin' name was. It was the best time I ever had makin that little film. The best. See you soon.
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